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There is one thing that can really tick me off on the farm, and that is a skunk or a raccoon stealing my chickens. After a number of chickens had disappeared, we set the trap. Using my incredible tracking skills, the sort you develop from being the mother of many children, I figured out which one of the holes in the fence the "critter" was coming through and immediately caught an enormous skunk. This was a Friday night, animal control is off on the weekends and so the skunk had to wait till Monday morning to be taken care of.

Monday dispatch sent out a team, calling it a "critter"instead of what it was because they thought that no one would take care of the skunk, since they're notoriously known and all. The team said they'd be back Tuesday with the right equipment. The skunk looked pitiful Monday afternoon and Johanna, my 12 year old came and said that she thought that it would be in order for us to throw it some dog food. So out we went. We threw it some dog food and it just lay there, didn't even move. What I found out the next day was that in this part of the world, skunks start to hibernate about the end of October and they get slower. So I told Hanna to go and get a chunk of ice and we toss it next to the trap and it could scrap at it for water.

Off she went and came back with a bucket of water, the duck pond had thawed in our beautiful non-winter weather and as I found out, that skunk was a lot faster because of it. I snuck up next to the cage with the bucket and then when I heard the sharp "Tsk! Tsk!" I jumped to my feet and Johanna and I ran, we were a good 15 feet away when he nailed us. Our arms were covered with a luminescent green and I thought I was going to die! It stank, the smell was so think we could taste it,  and it was so absolutely terrible.

Hanna said,"Oh Mama!" Then we started to laugh, we ran back to the house and stripped off outside the back door. We both jumped into the shower and I yelled to Rachel to please get the Ketchup out of the fridge. We scrubbed with ketchup, I didn't have tomato sauce, we scoured with Odo-ban, supposed to remove undesirable odors and we soaped and soaped and shampooed and we stank. I stepped out the shower and called Blanche Warnick, who lives on the dairy farm north of us. Yes, she could smell the skunk and she had something her brother, who worked for the county, had left at her place when a skunk had sprayed her porch.

I called Jim, my husband, and told him that I loved him and asked him how far was he from home. A minute later he called me back, from the mailbox in front of the house, after he had muttered something to himself about me finding somewhere else to sleep that night. I asked him to fetch the solution and he headed over to Blanche's to get the Skunk deodorant. The skunk deodorant worked wonderfully, even on all our clothes. Thank goodness because I don't think that I could have survived smelling like that for the weeks it normally took for that stuff to wear off.

I learned an important lesson: Never do a favor for a skunk!

Skunk deodorizer recipe:

In a bucket, mix:

• 1 quart of FRESH hydrogen peroxide (available at your local drugstore or grocery store in the health care aisle)
   
• 1/4 cup baking soda
   
• 1 teaspoon liquid soap

The mixture will bubble. Thoroughly wet the victim in this mixture, taking care to keep it out of the eyes. Wash the dog with the mixture as if it were shampoo while it is bubbling. Rinse the dog and repeat. Be careful not to contaminate the rinse water.

The soap breaks down the oil in which the odor is suspended, and the hydrogen peroxide and baking soda neutralize the scent. Do not premix the solution or store this potion in a bottle (the bubbling would cause it to explode).