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There are few things more upsetting to a parent than contentious children.  When children fight we feel the entire climate in the house change. I have made my children aware of this fact, and that they are each individually partly responsible for the feeling in our home, because they are part of our family team. Here is some tips on dealing with fighting and teasing.

We used to have them face each other and say five complimentary things about the other person, this worked well but sometimes things become old and it is time for a new idea. My sister-in-law, has them say 5 nice things about themselves if they belittle themselves e.g. "I’m so dumb."

At the moment, the following idea works well. When the children fight, or speak rudely to each other, impatiently, sarcastically etc., we have them sing a song about kindness or love to the one that they have offended, or been fighting with. The children have learned the songs in church and know them well.

We have noticed a remarkable difference in the climate in our home. The children have learned that we will not tolerate contention. I am no longer wearied by their fighting, teasing and meanness and they are learning a different way to deal with some of their feelings.

When we have a child who refuses to sing, they get to scrub the kitchen floor on their hands and knees with a scrub brush. This is a humbling exercise, and a long one, and generally they are reminded that the act of "Singing Kindness" would have been a better choice.