I have 5 children, 2 boys that are married and 3 girls at home. My oldest daughter is amazing girl, she is very talented at dance, gymnastics, cheer leading and is very popular. She is a good student and has many opportunities for college. She looks like the perfect daughter and usually she is the ideal daughter. The problem I am having is I am a single mother and she has very strong opinion on who I should date.
She sizes them up and then makes her opinion known. I couldn't see that our relationship, as a friendship more than as a mother daughter relationship, was a problem. She has been my friend to confide in for many years even when I had a husband. I do appreciate her ideas and her opinion. I just know that I have had more life experience. That looks aren't the most important thing in a marriage. I have my list of things that I need and one of them is that my spouse love me more than themself! As I date I go through the men really fast. I don't have time to waste on men that need to grow up. I want someone that is already comfortable in their own skin. Someone who is crazy about me and has some of the same interests as me.
Well, when I found the man of my dreams, he was in disguise. He was raising 4 daughters and 1 son, all at home. I had known him for 20 years. I wasn't looking to help raise another mans family, but there was no doubt in my mind when we re-met and got reacquainted that it was right. He had lost hope looking for a wife, because of his 5 children at home, when we ran into each other at a business convention. We were married in 1 month. We are really in love and are so happy that we found each other.
The problem I am having even after 2 years of marriage is my daughter doesn't treat my new husband as good as a stranger! She ignores him and asks me what I see in him. I don't understand how she can't see that our life is better now and that he loves me and is a good man. When she walks in the room she doesn't acknowledge him and will only speak what is necessary when he asks her a question. When she needs something she asks me, even if it is something that my husband is better at than me.
When it comes to her car getting fixed then she will ask him to help. She doesn't want to have to pay for it to get fixed, since he has every tool and all the knowledge to do so. He always fixes it and doesn't complain. He has the best collection of rock and roll cds and she isn't hesitant to ask to use those also. But most of the time she totally ignores him and pretends like he isn't there and makes snide remarks under her breath when he does ask her to clean up after herself.
My question is, "How do I love my husband and daughter under the same roof, with them both being happy?" I thought that it would get better in time and some things have, but the ignoring hasn't, along with the snide remarks, until I started using,"The Total Transformation Program," I needed some relief. I didn't want to deal with this for the rest of my life.
I found "The Total Transformation Program", by James Lehman. It has answered these questions and has given me knowledge on how to get on top of the situation. I don't have to fix everything and we each own our own happiness. It has given me the exact things to say in different situations and is helping this situation. I highly recommend this simple program with cds, dvd, and a workbook. I have looked at many programs and have used them. This program also gives you access to a parenting hot line that you can talk to someone about a problem your not sure how to handle. You also get a monthly newsletter via e-mail. I highly recommend this program to anyone with teenagers, it is truly helping me help my children to learn how to deal appropriately with problems and not to just cover them up with bad behavior.
