7 Steps to a Terrific Relationship with Your Teen

Written by by Julie Jordan Scott with Bianca Elizabeth Scott

1. Find an activity that your teen enjoys that you can do as a family, regardless of the age of the siblings or other family members. For our family, its karaoke. Bianca, age 17 sings and all the way down to Emma, age 2, we all grab the mic and show our "stuff", thus creating silly memories for all!

2. Loosen and tighten reigns as your Teen's behavior warrants it. Sometimes he will want to be 25 years old, and other times you will SWEAR he is 5 years old. If he is acting in an immature fashion, set firmer guidelines and rules. Without knowing it, he is begging you for it. As his behavior improves, loosen the reigns. Base your grip on his behavior, not on the calendar or his peers.

3. Communicate on a daily basis the specialness of your Teen. She is not her grades. She is not her peer group. She is not her extracurricular activities. She is a precious gift from God, who loves YOU with all her heart, even as she is screaming at the top of her lungs in a hormone induced frenzy.

4. Actively show concern for your Teen in all her activities, not just the ones YOU enjoy most. Support him in all that he does that is legal, ethical and moral. (And if he is doing things that do NOT fall in this category, by all means STOP him! :-Þ)

5. Be a Parent Your Teen and her friends want to be around. Open your home to them. Have teen friendly treats available. State the groundrules for visitors, and then expect them to follow them. Appreciate your Teens friends as individuals deserving of respect, just as you would treat your adult friends.

6. Participate in school activities. Bianca loved it when (believe it or not) I brought cupcakes to school on her 15th birthday. Enough for the entire band and drill team. Be aware of the school calendar. Rearrange your schedule as possible for your Teen, it will reap you many rewards.

7. Once a week, take your Teen out alone for a cup of coffee, to see what is happening with her. Talk out any problems, brainstorm solutions, offer concern, have Celebrations! This may be the most special time of the week for her...and YOU too!

Julie Jordan Scott is a Freelance Writer and Public Speaker, but her favorite role is that of Mommy to her three girls! Visit her website at http://www.5passions.com

Bianca Elizabeth Scott is a Senior at East Bakersfield High School. She hopes to attend Bakersfield College in the fall

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